Why I Did Not Love La La Land.
You are allowed to love a bad movie. I love Batman Forever.
1. La La Land was made for White People. It’s aggressively okay.
I do not love La La Land, but La La Land was not made for me, it was made for white people. Nostalgia is for white people. White savior narratives are for white people. Macklemore is for white people.
2. La La Land expressed nothing previously unexpressed. It’s mediocre and dead.
It was not the best, but will be seen as a masterpiece in spite of it’s mediocrity when compared to other films this year that really challenged the way that film engages with subject matter. Style and substance working hand-in-hand communicating something FRESH, or previously unarticulated. I’ve never seen Moonlight before. I’ve never seen Jackie before. Never seen Swiss Army Man,Imperial Dreams, Victoria, Shame, Felt, fuckin’ Beasts of No Nation, Carol…you get the idea.
3. La La Land didn’t do anything we’ve seen before well.
And then you have other great movies that don’t add anything new, but do an old thing very well, homage really REALLY well, or subvert expectations. Creed was a love letter to the sports melodrama and the franchise the bore it. The Artist, It Follows, Fucking Captain America:Winter Soldier and the political thriller… you get me…
I’m getting off the rails: There are some movies that add something new and take risks, and there are some movies that do something old and do it well.
4. La La Land’s only redeeming qualities.
La La Land doesn’t do anything new that is compelling or anything old that is amazing. Sure, the cinematography is beautiful, but everything else is aggressively mediocre, or lifeless, or bad.
I actually liked the very first number with Emma Stone, but the film came early and ate a sandwich for the rest of my time in the theater. It was boring. The non-musical parts were…BORING. The fantasia does not really work the way it is intended to
The epilogue was the movie I wanted to see…beautiful but still not enough to sell me on the idea that I made the right choice with my Christmas Eve afternoon.
I like Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling…they still were not enough.
I love that this movie made me think about what I liked about movies. So why do I hate this movie?