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Two Cent Musings on Victim Shaming

I love the media, man.

1) Black kid gets killed, we look for ways to blame him. Was he a bad kid? Was he a good kid? Because the implicit narrative is always that he deserved to die. We know this. I know this. Same old story, song, and dance. Just tell me whose ass I have to ram my nose into and I’ll do my best to deserve to live. Not even gonna go into it since I’ve exhausted myself on this topic in various on and off line conversations. Moving on.

2) Woman gets raped. We blame her outfit, because observing the length and/or tightness of her dress is an adequate substitute for a legitimate expression of consent. We blame her cleavage because she should have had the good sense to hide her body from all to the people she is provoking. Because when you are a woman on the street, no one wants to acknowledge a human being. Just a thing in a dress or sweats that will have sex or won’t have sex. We tell her if she doesn’t want to be raped she shouldn’t:

  • be out so late.
  • go jogging there anymore.
  • travel alone.
  • talk back to catcallers.
  • wear that.

All this, and she just wants to fucking jog. 

3) Woman has naked photos leaked all over the internet, we blame her for having them in the first place, because GOD FORBID a gal has naked pictures of her own goddamn body. We wag our fingers. We share links with our pals. We completely ignore that this this is about sex, and this is about violation, and this is about violence. Goddamn it this is about women and the shame that all men should feel for everything that they gain from gender/sexual inequalities

This is about the shame I think we all need to feel as men and as human beings. Because we still live in a time where the toxic fog of misogyny in all of it’s permutations poisons our words and actions in obvious and micro-aggressive ways. 

I have no ideas about solutions because I am a fallible asshole like you. But as a start, I think we need to really think about how we are participating in this culture and they things we can do to correct ourselves, correct our peers, and call out bullshit. We can’t keep sweeping the real problems under the rug man.

Stop protecting the bad guys. Stop helping to flip the script. Think about how this problem affect the victims and not how you aren’t apart of it, or how it isn’t that bad. You’ve been part of the problem, and in our ignorance we are all still part of the problem. We were born into many of the problems this nation has. America isn’t a salad bowl or a melting pot. It’s a large swamp filled with muck and shit and tar that we are still miraculously able to pull live ducks from.

Be one of those ducks. I hear the first bath is pretty nice.

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