Rumor: Once Again, I’m Not Cast As Jimmy Olsen

Ya gotta be fucking kidding me DC Cinematic Universe. Word on the street is Scoot McNairy is Jimmy Olsen. And this iteration of the character is a real sad kick in the dick.

Remember this photo?

Lots of us thought “YAY, green legs!!!” meant  “YAY, CGI!!!” which meant “YAY, another fucking superhero in this fucking movie” which based on logic could have meant something like “YAY, Wally West (maybe). Maychance we will get a fucking joke!” 

But maychance we will NOT be getting any fucking jokes.  Maychance NO smiling. Rumor has it that Scoot is actually Jimmy Olsen with a (fuckfuckfucknodon’tsayit): twist. During the fucking Metropolis mayhem in Man of Steel where Superman was DESTROYING THE FUCKING CITY AND KILLING EVERYONE, one of those people he (almost) killed was Jimmy Olsen. Who didn’t get killed, but lost his fucking legs.

 Jimmy Olsen lost his fucking legs because of Superman. (Maychance.)

Hold up. SUPERMAN’S PAL Jimmy Olsen lost his FUCKING LEGS because of: Superman. YOU KNOW!!! The motherfucker who kills everything and doesn’t fight in space. Umm….no. Fuckity Bye Felicia.

Mind you, this is all maychance.

Zack Snyder is gonna throw Jimmy Olsen on a pair of prosthetic legs just to really ram it up our collective asses how profoundly depressing his DC Cinematic Universe can be? Dude, I already have the real world to depress the shit out of me, now I’ll get to see 2 hours of men in tights in a jokeless romp through another sad, grey, uncaring universe.

Like, thanks for nothing Superman. It’s like that world was a better place before superheroes got involved. Of course this is all speculation and fanboy bitching. 


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