First check this out here. I know right? If you’re anything me, and like to think of yourself as a semi-evolved human from a post-pubescent America (one that’s already dealt with the terrible-twos of the Civil War, and the growing pains of the Civil Rights movement, Vietnam, the Cold War, etc.) you should be asking yourself what’s the big deal? Why is this even news? Didn’t they do a movie about this in 1960-something with what’s-his-name that isn’t Morgan Freeman? Didn’t Shakespeare explore this concept way back when in the critically acclaimed Jungle Fever?
I’m annoyed, so lots of this won’t make sense. I apologize if this meanders.
Why is this news? I repeat: WHY IS THIS NEWS? Why is this something we even think about. Like I get it, okay, the issue of race isn’t dead and stuff. But isn’t it getting a little, well…boring? Week after week, I’m forced to have an opinion on this and I’m getting sick of it. Not to parrot that Commie, adulterous bastard (Martin Luther King, Jr.) but when will we live in an America where people get to be human beings instead of pawns for political debates and opinions? Women can vote. Men are kissing men. Whatever. It’s fine. It’s good.
To me, a card-carrying devotee to the liberal agenda, this is all about as interesting as watching pancake batter dry into the fabric of my cardigan sweater on a Sunday Morning. I get that we are a nation that loves to masturbate to all parts of its past. And while I don’t forgive the injustice of slavery, or segregation, or may of the things that slip by in our culture, I’m not gonna write a goddamn letter to the president, because of a black man on a couch in his house on a Cheerios commercial.
Here are some more interesting news suggestions:
They’re making seven Fast and the Furious movies.
They have an app that lets you know where all the sex offenders live.
People are getting robot parts.
There are machines that can make print body parts.
I realize that there’s a good chance we will never reach this point in nationwide maturity so I’m asking all of the more interesting stories in the news to step up their game.
We live in the fucking future. Let’s act like it.